Chapter Two

    While the Scouts were at the Doe house having tea, Princess Candy Floss had retired to his office in the society's secret hideout.  His office had a pink, swirling candy cane decor to it.  It was bizarre.  He was looking into the mirror beside his closet, admiring his gaudy, fuscia ball gown, one he had knicked from his girlfriend.  His girlfriend had no idea that he was a member of this society, which by now seemed more like a cult.  Candy Floss danced in front of the mirror with a really stupid looking smile on his face.
    Let me tell you a bit about Candy Floss.  He was very wealthy.  He had children.  Candy Floss was an old man with back problems.  Basically, that's all his fellow society members knew about him.  Well, except Horse Lady. She knew a lot about everyone in the society.
    Candy Floss picked up his newspaper (which was delivered to him by Calamity Jane every afternoon) and went over the day's headlines, wondering where he and the society should strike next.

***

    Serena and Raye were fighting. Again.
    "Look, I want to go to Harrods, Serena. Mrs. Doe told me their having some sort of sale, and you are NOT going to keep me from shopping!" Raye shouted.
    "But I want to go to the rib restaurant! They're having a buffet special and I wanna go!"  Serena wailed.  Raye glared at her.  "Serena, we just had lunch. You'll live," she said.  Amy looked up from her book.
    "Please stop arguing.  Serena, don't sit on that stool like that!  You'll break it," she said.  The girls were assembled in the Doe family's kitchen.  They were debating over where to go for the day. "Serena, I really think we should go to Harrods first.  Then we can stop by that rib restaurant for dinner.  How does that sound?" Amy asked. "Sounds okay," Serena grumbled.
    Later on the girls were in a park, feeding the pigeons.  They had finished their shopping spree fairly quick, after the girls decided that Harrods was too expensive.
    "Wow, Mina.  This park is gorgeous," Lita breathed.  Mina nodded as she and Lita watched Serena and Raye chase each other with sticks covered in pigeon poo.  Mina looked around and noticed something very strange.
    "Lita--where's Amy?" Lita and Mina looked around. No Amy.
    "She's right here." The girls looked up, then down, then to their right.  Lurking in the bushes was the Power Rangers from the secret society.  The Pink Ranger had Amy in a choke hold.  The Red, Blue, and Black Rangers were behind her, weilding strange looking weapons.
    "We've come to take you lot hostage. Sic them boys!" the Pink Ranger commanded.  The other rangers sprang into action, attacking the other girls and disturbing the innocent pigeons.
    "We'd better transform! Moon Crystal Power!" Serena transformed into Sailor Moon. Mina, Raye and Lita did the same. Sailor Moon glared at the Pink Ranger.
    "Let my friend go. Now," Sailor Moon commanded. The Pink Ranger made a snorting noise (each Ranger was wearing a helmet).  "And who are you?" she asked.
    "I am Sailor Moon, champion of love and justice! I fight wrongs and triumph over evil, and that means you!" Sailor Moon annoucned. The Pink Ranger laughed. The other rangers continued to attack the remaining Scouts.
    The Pink Ranger turned to Amy. "Soon, you and your little friends will be under our control. You will be our pawns and help lead our soceity to world domination! Do you have any final words before you are brainwashed?" the Pink Ranger asked. Amy nodded. "Yes I do. You're toast!" Amy elbowed the Pink Ranger in her stomach and broke free. She then transformed into Sailor Mercury.
    "Mercury Bubble Blast!" A fog settled over the park. "P...erm, Red Ranger, where are you?! I need help!" the Pink Ranger pleaded with panic in her voice. The Red Ranger was fighting with Sailor Jupiter. "I'm over here!" came the reply. The Pink Ranger snorted in disgust. "Where's here?" she demanded.
    "Right in your face! Mars Fire Ignite!" Sailor Mars let her firey attack loose in the Pink Rangers' face. Her helmet was charred as the fog finally cleared.
    "Ugh!" the Pink Ranger looked around. There were five Sailor Scouts against the four Rangers. They'd need another member. "Listen you, this isn't over by a long shot! We'll be back!" The four Rangers slumped away, completely defeated. The Sailor Scouts cheered.

***

    "Wow. A new enemy. Good thing we arrived here in England, right?" Mina said. The other girls nodded. They were at the Doe residence, in the (small) guest house, going over the day's events.
    "Well, we need to find out about this new enemy. Amy, have you found anything yet?" Luna said.  Amy sat down and looked over the information on her mini computer.  "Nothing, Luna.  Absolutely nothing.  I don't think they're the usual, run-of-the-mill enemies, like Queen Beryl, the two aliens, or the Negamoon family."  Amy said.  Serena sighed.  "What are we going to do about it?  How are we supposed to locate them?"  she asked.
    "Hmm.  That's a toughie.  We just need to be prepared.  In the meantime, I'll continue to find more information.  All I get is information on the Power Rangers television series."  Amy said.  Raye snapped her fingers.  "You know, they said something about leading their 'society' to world domination.  Somehow, I get the feeling that they're just members of an even larger society.  But the question is, how do we find out about this secret society?  I mean, what is the society's name?  Does it have a purpose?"  Raye wondered.  The other girls sighed.
    "Well, like Amy said, we'll need to be prepared."  Artemis said.  The girls peeked over Amy's shoulder to get a look at the information on the computer screen.  Suddenly, something came up...

***

The secret society was holding an emergency meeting.  It was to discuss the attack on the Power Rangers.  Princess Candy Floss was wearing a blue gown, pink platforms, and a diamond necklace.  He was also wearing a Mardi Gras style mask.
    "Right then.  The meeting shall begin.  Calamity Jane, are you taking notes?" Candy Floss began, looking at Calamity Jane.  Jane nodded and Candy Floss returned his gaze to the other members of the society.  Standing in front of his candy cane podium was the four Power Rangers looking quite dejected.  "All right, you four.  What happened?"  he asked.
    "It went like this.  We were in some park to take these five girls hostage.  Suddenly, they transformed from regular clothing into these sailor-type costumes.  They had strange powers.  That's how the Pink Ranger got scorched--the sailor in red got her with her fire." The Red Ranger explained.  The Blue Ranger nodded in agreement.  Horse Lady snorted.
    "So basically what your telling us is that you failed?  Failure won't get you very far in this society, you know."  Horse Lady snapped.  She was wearing a brown dress, brown oxford shoes, and a sickly-yellow cardigan.  Her hair was piled up in a huge bee-hive style hairdo.  Candy Floss raised his hand.  "Now, we can't expect all of our members to be perfect.  There's a time for success and a time for faliure.  Believe me, I know.  Since we are at this meeting, I have decided to show you something that will help us find this group of sailor girls.  I was going to wait until the next regular meeting, but the events that have occurred have made me realize that it is important to introduce this to all of you."  Candy Floss opened his laptop and started up a program.  It looked like a search engine.  He typed in the keywords "secret society, sailor, girls, five, magic powers, special powers."  The information on the Sailor Scouts came up.  The program then searched for a computer owned by the Scouts.  It found Amy's computer and connected the two.
    The society members looked on with awe.  "We are now connected with their computer.  So, what would you like to tell these five girls?"  Candy Floss asked.  Horse Lady raised her hand.  "I wish to speak to the five girls."  she said.  Candy Floss handed the laptop to her.  She opened up Microsoft Outlook Express and composed the message.  When she was done, she copied Amy's e-mail address and sent the letter.

***

    The other girls gasped.  Amy's web browser was open, and it now signaled that she had mail.  She opened her e-mail account (on AOL) and read the new message:
 

Dear Sailor girls,

We know about your attack on the four Power Rangers.  We shall find you and do one of two things.

There is nothing you can do to stop us.  We know where you are, and we are coming after you very soon.

Regards,
Horse Lady
Vice President of the "Secret Society."
 

Serena gasped.  "Oh my goodness!  She's coming for us!  What are we going to do?" Serena cried.  Raye grinned evilly.  "We kick some major ass, that's what!"  Raye looked at the others.  "C'mon, Amy, scan their IP and find out where they are."  Amy complied as the others gave themselves a pep talk.

***

    Princess Candy Floss looked at the message.  "Very good Horse Lady."  he said.  Calamity Jane raised her hand.  "I have a marvelous idea.  I was on the internet a while ago and saw this little society.  Bunch of little girls calling themselves the Sexays."
    Horse Lady frowned.  "Sexays?  What the hell is that?  Isn't the word 'sexy'?" Horse Lady demanded.  Calamity Jane nodded.  The Blue Ranger snorted.  "I suppose you want our society to be called the 'sexays'?  Come on, what a pathetic name cooked up by a bunch of girls who can't spell.  I don't want to be any part of a society that calls themselves the 'sexays'."  he said.
    "Do you have any other suggestions?"  Candy Floss asked.  The Pink Ranger snickered.  "Hey, lets call ourselves the Canday Rangers!  No, I'm just joking.  Maybe we ought to stick to 'Secret Society'."  she said.  Candy Floss shook his head.  "No, that is too obvious.  Any votes for 'sexay'?"  he asked.  Everybody but the Rangers and Horse Lady raised their hands.  Candy Floss smiled.  "We are officially the 'sexays.'  he said.

***

    Horse Lady was looking through her e-mail when she got a very nasty letter from one of the original sexays.  It had been several days after their renaming.  It read,
 

Dear Horse Lady,

Gee, what a lovely name.  I'm sure it suits you.  Look, we don't want you taking our name.  We are sexay.  You aren't.  Get over it.  All of you British aristocrats are a bunch of retarded, uglay walruses anyway.

If you don't change the name, we are coming after you.  Period.  You will wish you had never been born.  You are pathetic.  Hell, I'm sure you wish you had never been born ALREADY!  I'd love to make you feel more worthless.  Bottom line--change the name.  Or suffer the consequences.

Un-sincerely,

Queen of the Sexays.
 

Horse Lady rolled her eyes.  She then began to compose a message of her own.
 
Dear Queen of the Sexays,

As but one member of my secret society, I have to say that I completely disagree with the name 'sexay.'  Unfortunately, I was outnumbered, and my colleagues decided to name themselves the sexays.

I will be the first to say that the word 'sexay' is a reflection of poor spelling.  It doesn't take a genius to come up with a stupid name like 'sexay'.

From your remarks, I can only assume that you're an American who has absolutely no knowledge of British aristocracy.  I can accept that--after all, you ARE an American (and a stupid one at that, since you misspelled 'ugly'.  Before sending me any correspondence, learn how to spell first, or just use the bloody spell check).

I regret that I must end this letter here, but let me tell you something first--I am quite glad I was born.  The only reason why I would wish I was never born is the fact that I have to share this planet with brain dead idiots like you.

Un-sincerely,

Horse Lady
Vice President of the Secret Society

PS I have already taken steps to cleanse my society of your ridiculous name, as you will see in my signature.
 

Horse Lady, pleased with her letter, clicked the send button and sat back in her seat, shaking her head in disbelief.  Could there really be that many morons in this world?  All the better for the Secret Society to take over the world....



 


Serena:  Well, what an interesting episode.  Sorry for the profanity by Horse Lady and Raye--after all, this is a children's show.
Raye:  Oh, whatever, Serena.  Let's go over the day's events.  We went touring, and got attacked by a bunch of retarded Power Rangers.  Fortunately, we kicked their behinds!
Serena:  We surely did.  And Amy used her mini computer a lot.  Looks like it functions like any old PC!  Isn't that neato?  I wish Luna would give me one.
Luna:  Ahem, let us continue.  The Rangers failed to get the job done.  Girls and boys, it is always good to do your best.
Serena:  Oh, Lunaaaa!  Duh, they already know that!  Then the secret society temporarily named themselves the Sexays, which resulted in a fall out between the real sexays and the um, fake ones.
Raye:  Oh, god, what is a sexay anyway?  Looks like SOMEONE can't spell.  Don't you agree Serena?
Serena:  Yes, I do.  Okay, lesson of the day:  Do your best, don't steal other society's names, and don't mess with Horse Lady, cos she'll put you in your place.
Raye:  Yeah, that woman is feisty!
Serena:  Sailor Moon says!  Heehee!  PS I liked the foxays better anyway!
Luna:  Serena!
Serena:  Sorry.

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