Chapter Six

    Horse Lady was fuming with anger.  The press had gone against her after the La Face photos.  Before the tawdry pictures, she had been a respected lady.  Now she was the laughingstock of the planet.
    Horse Lady and the rest of the secret society were in their underground lair, mulling over Horse Lady's triumph.  The picture's purpose was to gain new members of the society by using subliminal messages and suggestions.  The pictures did their job, and made Horse Lady look ridiculous in the process.  She was not pretty--she looked like a horse.  She was also a middle aged woman--yet in the pictures she dressed like a pop star.
    Princess Candy Floss thought the whole affair was the funniest thing ever.
    "Horse Lady, darling, that dress is simply exquisite!  My dog would look fabulous in it!"  he joked.  Mr. Putter and his cronies (the research team, who were all golf fanatics) guffawed with laughter, pointing at the picture Princess Candy Floss was holding up.  It was the picture of Horse Lady in the plaid blue dress.
    "All right that's enough!  One, I wish you would stop calling me Horse Lady!  Two, how I dress and how I act in private is none of your bloody business!  So back off!"  she screamed.  This made Candy Floss and company laugh even harder.  "I am getting quite fed up with you lot.  Why is it that everyone on this planet makes fun of me?  What horrible thing did I do to deserve such treatment!  I have come up with my new name.  Its--"  Horse Lady looked around until her eyes fell upon a movie poster.  It was a poster of the Wizard of Oz.  On it were the characters, but one character caught Horse Lady's eye.  Glinda.  "It's Glinda.  There.  That's my name.  Glinda.  And you idiots had better not forget it!  If you call me Horse Lady ever again I shall simply ignore you until you address me in the proper way.  Does everybody understand?"  she ranted.
    "Oh, all right...Glinda!" Mr. Putter said, with emphasis on the horsey looking woman's name.  His research team looked at each other and then exploded with laughter.
    "Ahem, moving on.  We have business to attend to."  Candy Floss banged his candy cane striped gavel on his candy cane striped podium.  The golf fanatic/research team quieted down.  "Right now the Rangers are finishing off the last of our new recruits.  So far we've done very well--except for one thing.  Those damned Scouts and Guardians.  Neither of them are gone, and quite frankly, I'm worried.  They're gaining on us fast.  We need to eliminate them.  Now I know, Glinda, I gave your team a month to get rid of them, and you've got plenty of time left--but they're working fast."  Candy Floss said.  He stepped down from the podium with a stack of papers.  "These are your orders for this week."  he said, handing them out to each member.

***

    Serena and Darian were sitting on a bench in the Doe's backyard.  It was several minutes past noon.  Darian had arrived in England two months earlier.  He had a secretarial job at a wealthy woman's estate in Gloucestershire.  He had decided to visit his girlfriend on his lunch break.
    "So, Darian, tell me about this wealthy woman you're working for.  Is she nice?"  Serena asked.  Darian sighed.
    "I can't tell you much.  She doesn't like her employees talking about her.  I can tell you that she's from a rich family and is well known around here.  Lately she's been keeping a low profile," he said.
    "So, can I go meet her?  The other scouts went to meet these weird new scouts called the Guardians.  I told them I'd meet them at their base of operations later," Serena said.
    "Serena, why didn't you go with them?" he demanded.  Serena backed up, looking shocked.
    "Geez, don't get so uptight!  I just wanted to see you, that's all.  So, what's her name?  Does she have any children?" Serena replied.
    "Two.  I'm at the bottom of this woman's staff.  I've never met the woman who owns the place.  The person I've met--Louise--is the head of the staff.  All she does is report our doings to the lady who owns the place.  That's it.  Secretive, huh?" Darian explained.  Serena nodded.  They stood up and headed for the front door.

***

    Thirty minutes later Serena and Darian were in Gloucestershire, at Darian place of employment.  They were in his tiny little office, which was in the basement, next to the heater, which, when running, rattled loudly.  Darian was showing Serena his miserable looking computer, which was an extremely old Macintosh.
    "Since I'm an American, I get the worst computer.  Well, that's what Louise told me.  She hates Americans.  So, what time do you have to be at the Guardians?" Darian asked.
    "Um, three in the afternoon.  What time to you get off?"  Serena answered.
    "Two thirty.  You're in luck.  I usually get off at four."  he said.  Serena nodded.  She sat down in the extra chair in the corner and watched Darian type letters, reports, and presentations for his boss.  At one thirty Serena had to go to the bathroom.
    "Darian--I seriously need to use the bathroom.  Where is it?" Serena asked, doing the pee-pee dance.
    "Go upstairs, turn to your right, and go down the hall.  Take a left, and down that hall is the bathroom, or the lavatory, as Louise calls it." Darian answered.  He was working on a letter.  Serena left his cramped office and went upstairs, to her right, down the hall, and to her left where the bathroom was.  She stepped in and did her business.  When she was done, she washed her hands and stepped out.  She was halfway back to the basement when she ran into somebody.
    It was the lady who had been on the cover of La Face--Glinda, formerly Horse Lady.  Glinda was the owner of this lovely estate, but Serena didn't know that.  All she knew was that Glinda was the ugliest broad she'd ever seen.
    "Well, well, I'll be damned.  You're one of the three snots that was laughing at me the other day."  Glinda said, glaring evilly at Serena.  Serena trembled, thanking her lucky stars that she had peed when she did--cos if she didn't, her white pants would've been soiled by now.
    "I-I-I'm s-s-s-s-s-soo s-s-s-s-sorry m-m-ma'am. I didn't m-mean to l-laugh at you.  R-Raye--my friend-she-I-she made me laugh.  I am so so sorry." Serena stuttered, marveling at the size of Glinda's nose.  It was long and pointy--like a witch's nose.  Glinda smiled an evil smile, baring her long, horse like, tea stained teeth.
    "So this Raye person made you laugh?  What--you can't make your own decisions?  What right do you have, laughing at me like some deranged hyena on drugs?  I'd like to know." Glinda snarled.  Serena shook even harder.
    "N-no.  I-I mean, I have the right to laugh and stuff--because it's freedom of speech."  Serena answered.  Glinda made a snarling noise.
    "To hell with you and your bloody Yankee constitution!  Freedom-of-bloody-speech is not an excuse to make fun of people!  Do you know who I am?  Do you?"  Glinda raged.  Serena mustered up all of her courage and stood up a little straighter--nobody put her constitution down!
    "I don't care if you're the Queen herself--I DO have the right to say what I want--as long as it doesn't overlap with the rights of others." she said, and walked past Glinda to the basement.  Glinda whirled around, smoldering with rage.  She snatched Serena's hair and dragged her back.
    "Who are you anyway?  Why are you here in MY home?"  Glinda demanded.  Serena could smell her breath--it smelled of tea and venison.  Yuck.
    "I'm here with Darian--my boyfriend.  He's the secretary.  Now let me go!"  Serena answered.  Glinda smiled again.
    "We'll deal with him later.  You're coming with me."  Without waiting for a response, Glinda dragged Serena to another part of her massive manison...

***

    Two o'clock.  Darian was finishing up a report on starving children in Africa.  He looked around his office, wondering where Serena had gone.  She had gone to the bathroom thirty minutes ago, and hadn't returned.  He sighed, and typed up the last two paragraphs of the report.  When he was done, he printed the document and shut down the computer.
    "She probably got lost."  he muttered to himself, gathering up the pile of papers beside the printer.  He picked up his briefcase and left his tiny office.  When he left the basement, Glinda was at the end of the hall, waiting for him.
    "You.  You're the stupid little Yank Louise hired."  Glinda called out to him.  He stopped, frozen with shock.  This woman was the woman Louise worked for.  He paid his proper respects and walked up to her.
    "Uh, yes I am, ma'am.  Have you seen a blonde haired girl around--she's my girlfriend.  I brought her with me today."  he said.  Glinda laughed.
    "Short, ditzy, pigtailed?  Oh, I've seen her.  She and her rotten little friends were laughing at me the other day.  I'll take you to her."  Glinda replied.  She looked down at the papers in Darian's hand.  "I'll take those.  Follow me."  He gave Glinda the papers and walked upstairs with her.


Serena:  Wow--this is getting too dramatic for me.  Today's episode was boring.
Luna:  I didn't even appear in it!  Neither did the Scouts or Artemis or the Guardians!
Raye:  I know.  Why is that, Serena?
Serena:  Geez, I don't know!  Darian appeared in it--today was his first appearance.  So did that retard Candy Floss and that butt-ugly Glinda/Horse Lady, or whatever.
Luna:  Don't forget Mr. Putter.
Serena:  Right.  Now today I found out the possible consequences of making fun of people.  Of course, stuff like this doesn't happen every day, but it's still a possibility.
Luna:  Don't make fun of people--it's not nice.  Treat others as you would like to be treated.
Raye:  Even if they're ugly like Glinda/Horse Lady.  Remember, ugly people have feelings too.
Serena:  Um, right.  Be nice to people, and people will be nice to you.  Sailor Moon Says!

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