Glinda, or Horse Lady as everyone else knew her, was sitting in her bedroom, poring over the day’s newspapers.  One of her siblings had gotten themselves into a massive scandal, and it was the talk of the nation—or perhaps even the world.  Glinda sighed.  She turned the page.  She was reading the Daily Mirror.  After a few seconds of flipping through the story on her sibling, she stopped.  On page fifty-five there was an editorial on her.  Frowning, Glinda read the story.  The author obviously disliked her.  The author criticized her fashion sense, her personality—everything.  It went on to talk about her friends and family.  Glinda became very upset.  She balled up the newspaper and flung it at her window.  A bird sitting on the outer windowsill fluttered away.
    The phone rang.  Glinda slowly stood up and strode over to the old-fashioned rotary phone that was sitting on her nightstand.  She picked it up.
     “Hello?’
     “Darling, it’s me—Candy Floss.  Our children are going to be fine.  They’ll need some time to recuperate.  I’ve gotten this splendid new formula that helps humans heal quickly without ghastly side effects.  It’s working marvelously on our children.” Candy Floss said breathlessly.  Glinda nodded.
     “That’s good.  But how long do they need to recover?  We need a massive army for our next plan.  We’ll need loads of soldiers to attack the county.  We don’t have enough members.” Glinda said.
     “Oh, Mr. Putter is working on it.  I’ve got a splendid new name for our society.  I read it in a book.  Ready for it?”  Candy Floss asked.
     “Fine.  What is it?”
     “Pink Mafia.”
     “For god’s sake!  What sort of name is that?  It sounds like a homosexual dancing troupe.”  Glinda sniffed.
     “Don’t insult homosexuals, Horse Lady.  It’s politically incorrect and frightfully rude.”  Said Candy Floss in a rather patronizing tone.
     “For the last time—it’s Glinda, NOT Horse Lady!  When will you get it right?”  Glinda shouted.  “And I’ll insult whomever I bloody well please.”  She continued.
     “Whatever you say—I’ve got to go.  Mr. Putter and I need to finish working on our plan.  In the meantime, you recruit some new members.” Candy Floss ordered.  Glinda frowned.
     “How am I supposed to do that?  Should I stand on the street corners in a pink pinstripe suit holding a placard saying ‘Join the Pink Mafia’?”  Horse Lady asked sarcastically.
     “You figure it out.  Cheerio.”  The line went dead.
     “Bloody rude bastard!”  Horse Lady (or Glinda) snarled.  She slammed the phone onto its receiver, scratching the phone’s cream color paint job.

    Serena and Lita were sitting on patio chairs in the Doe’s backyard.  It was a sunny June morning, and the girls weren’t due back in Japan until early August.
     “Serena, where are we having lunch?”  Lita asked.  Serena looked up from the magazine she was reading.
     “I don’t know.  Probably Chez Louis.  That’s where Raye wants to eat.  I’d rather have McDonald’s.  But you know Raye, she always gets her way.”  Serena answered.  Lita looked over at her.
     “What are you reading?”
     “Some new tabloid called Dirty Laundry.  There’s an article about the secret society and the Sailor Guardians.  We barely get any credit.  That is so unfair.”  Serena said, glaring at a picture of Sailor Iapetus.
     “Don’t worry, we’re going to be princesses in the future.  We don’t need a whole lot of publicity.  Besides, they’d find out our true identities and then we’d have no privacy.”  Lita explained.
     “You’re right, Lita.  That’s a good point, and I didn’t want to be a Scout again when Luna came back to me.  But we all have a duty, and that’s to protect the world and fight evil.”
    Luna came trotting out of the house and towards the girls.  She jumped onto Lita’s lap and settled down.
     “Girls, have you heard any news about the secret society?”  Luna asked.
     “Geez, Luna, aren’t you supposed to be on top of these things?” Serena asked.  Luna meowed.
     “Well, you’re the leader of the group.  You ought to know too.” The cat shot back.  Serena sighed.
     “There’s an article about them in this magazine.  They’ve got a name now:  The Pink Mafia.  The Guardians subdued a couple of members near some town called Stroud or something.  Their mugs are all over this magazine.”  Serena said.  Luna sighed in her typically feline way.
     “At first, I didn’t come up with anything on Amy’s computer.  Now I know why, because they’re no longer called the ‘secret society.’  That was most helpful.  We need to talk to the Guardians.  They may know more about the pink mafia than we do.”  Luna said.  Serena was too busy reading an article on some boy-girl pop group to pay attention.  “Did you hear me?” Luna asked.
     “Yeah.  I’ll call a special meeting at the Guardians’ headquarters.” She said.
    Lita stood up, put Luna on the patio chair and walked into the house after telling Serena she was going to get the other girls.

    Several minutes later the five girls were on their way to the Guardians’ headquarters.
    The girls stood in front of the large house.  It was nice that morning, but the rain clouds had come quickly by noon.  The girls were equipped with umbrellas.  Serena stepped onto the porch and rang the doorbell.  It didn’t work.  She picked up the doorknocker and knocked three times.  Nayana answered the door.
     “Hi, Serena.  You’re just in time for the meeting.  Come in.”  Nayana greeted her.  Serena returned the greeting and the scouts followed Nayana into the drafty old house.
     “With the money from that Dirty Laundry interview, we were able to furnish the house.  I don’t think I ever mentioned it, but Melissa’s British uncle owns this place, and he let us use it for our headquarters.  Of course, we will let you use it too.  Come in, there’s tea and crumpets in the sitting room.”  Nayana said.  The girls looked around.  The Guardians’ must have made a lot of money, because the drafty old house had a rich Victorian decor.
    The girls followed Nayana into the sitting room.  Serena headed over to the table, where tea, crumpets, muffins and scones were waiting.  The others joined the Guardians, who were sitting on a large sofa.
    “As you know, the secret society has changed their name.  They’re called the Pink Mafia now.”  Charlotte said.  Amy nodded.
    “Last I heard the Power Rangers were still undergoing treatment for that battle we had.  And Horse Lady is still an active member.  That’s all we know.”  Amy said.
    “There’s more.  Horse Lady and Princess Candy Floss have another plan in place.  It includes a large-scale invasion of a county.  Right now they’re recruiting strong people to be in their army.  The Rangers are to be their generals, but they’re out of commission at the moment.  They have some secret healing formula that is helping the Rangers get better.  If we don’t act fast, everybody in this county is in danger.”  Charlotte explained.
    "And another thing.  This attack on the county is just the beginning.  It’s a sort of trial attack; just to see what they’re capable of and how much manpower they’ll need to attack the world.  But as Charlotte said, thousands of lives are at stake.  If they succeed, then they’ll move on to taking over the country, then the continent, and then the world.  We need to stop them, and to stop them soon.”  Melissa said.
   “So, how are we going to stop them?  I mean, there’s five of us and four of you.  Nine sailor soldiers compared to an army that might be hundreds, even thousands of soldiers are not good odds.  We need an army if we’re going to stop them.”  Raye said.
    “Why not call the Outer Scouts?  They can help.”  Mina asked.
    “That would be a good idea.  We’re going to need all the help we can get, but even the Outers could not hold off an entire army.  Raye is right.  We need an army.”  Amy said.  The girls turned to Luna and Artemis, who were looking up info on Amy’s computer.  Suddenly Artemis meowed.
    “Look at this—we’re in luck.  Apparently the Pink Mafia can’t recruit enough members, so they’re creating android soldiers to make up their army.  If we can hack into the computer system that controls these android soldiers, we have them beat.”  Artemis said.  Melissa giggled.
    “Just like in that new Star Wars movie.  But it’s true.  That’s the only way we’re going to defeat them.”  Melissa said.  The others nodded.
    “Okay, so Charlotte and Amy will go to the Doe’s and work on breaking into their system.  Robots shouldn’t be too hard to defeat.  If we can find out their weakness, we can defeat them easily without messing around with the program that controls them.”  Tara added.
    “Yes, but getting into the program that controls them is a major advantage.  We can get them to destroy the Pink Mafia once and for all.  But you are right; we will find their weakness and report it to you.”  Amy replied.  The others nodded and continued to discuss their plan.

    Princess Candy Floss was in his pink office, dancing to Geri Halliwell’s cover of “It’s Raining Men.”  He loved that song.  Candy Floss looked into the mirror, examining his bald spot.  He turned away from the mirror just as Geri was singing the bridge to the song.  He walked over to his closet, opened the door, and looked up to the shelf.  On the shelf were loads of wigs on mannequin heads.  He pulled down a mannequin head with a curly, pale pink wig on.  He removed the wig from the plastic head and placed it on his own, then walked back to the mirror to admire the wig.  It concealed not only his bald spot, but his graying hair as well.
    “Fabuloso.  Oh, yeah, it’s raaaaaaaaaiiiiiining meeeeeeeeeen!  Hallelujah, it’s raining men!  Amen!” Candy Floss belted it out, completely off-key.  He didn’t care; nobody was listening anyways.  Or so he thought.
    Mr. Putter had been walking down the hallway, humming the same tune—“It’s Raining Men.”  Apparently the song was very popular.  Mr. Putter walked into Candy Floss’s office just as the androgynous man was belting out the bridge.
    “Candy, darling, the program is all finished and the androids are ready for your command.”  Mr. Putter announced.  Candy Floss stopped singing.
    “Perfect.  Tell Horse Lady to send for the entirety of our membership—we’re having a special meeting,” Candy Floss replied.  Mr. Putter nodded in response and left the office.  Candy Floss walked over to his desk where a pink feather boa was lying.  He picked it up and draped it around his neck.
    “Yes…perfect.  No longer will I hide my androgyny.  I love being me.  And so will the entire world, once I am its ruler.”

    Horse Lady—or Glinda—was sitting in front of Snuffy’s tombstone.  She had been crying over the only living thing that had ever loved her.
    “This army of ours will annihilate the Sailor Scouts, and you will be avenged, my dearest.  I miss you so much, darling, and I wish you would come back.  You were too badly damaged to save.  I’m sure you’re in heaven, hearing every word I say.  I want you to be here.  Right here; right beside me, my dearest.” She said.  Glinda burst into tears all over again.
    Mr. Putter walked up to her and gave her the news.  She glared at him, angry because he had interrupted her mourning time.  She relented and stood up, then the two left the secret society’s private burial ground.

    Later that night the Scouts were asleep in the attic of the Doe residence.  The only person awake was Amy.  Her computer had finally been connected to the Pink Mafia’s main computer.  She was looking through the members’ profiles.  Amy was astonished at what she saw.
    She had discovered the real identities of each member.  Amy was completely shocked.  She hadn’t expected the members to be as high profile as they were.  Amy decided to keep this fact a secret.  She couldn’t bound into these people’s residences as Sailor Mercury and punish them without proof of their membership.  She needed legitimate proof.
    “This is amazing.  Now, I need to find the program that controls the androids.”  Amy murmured.  For the next thirty minutes she kept trying, looking at every file, but she didn’t find anything.  At midnight, she was incredibly tired and decided to call it a night.  She logged off, turned the computer off, and went to bed.

    The next morning the Guardians and the Scouts met at the drafty old house.  They were discussing the Outer Scouts.
    “We all acknowledge the need for the outers, right?  The question is, how to contact them and how to get them here.  Serena, how’s Darien?”  Amy asked.
    “I haven’t heard from him since the big battle at Horse Lady’s place.  The last I heard he was going out to look for another job, cos Horse Lady had fired him.  Or sacked, as they say here.”  Serena replied.
    “We should look for him.  Goodness knows we’ll need his help too.”  Lita said.  The others nodded.
     Several minutes later the other girls decided that it was time to take a break.  The Guardians and the other scouts were in the recreational room playing pool.  Raye and Serena decided to take a walk around the neighborhood.
    “Come on, Serena.  I know where Horse Lady’s house is, and I want to investigate Darien’s ‘sacking.’” Raye said.  Serena sighed and followed Raye out the door.

    Serena and Raye had finally arrived at Horse Lady’s front gates.  The two girls stared through the gates, wondering if Darien was inside.
    “Do you want to go in?” Serena asked.
    “Do you want to go in?”  Replied Raye.  Serena shook her head.  “Wait, I do.  Let’s find a buzzer or something.”
    “Yeah right, like she’s gonna let us in.  We attacked her at her house, remember?” Raye said skeptically.  Serena shook her head.
    “No.  She won’t recognize us as regular people.  Here, I’ll take my hair out of these buns.  It’s easier than using the Luna pen.  Do you have a hair clip?” Serena started to take the buns out of her hair as Raye looked through her purse.  She produced a purple hair clamp and handed it to Serena, who rolled her hair into a French twist and put the clamp in.  Raye nodded in approval.  Raye fished around in her purse for a scrunchie, and found a blue one.  She quickly braided her hair and tied the scrunchie at the end of her braid.
    “These are kinda lame disguises, but if we act like we don’t know what a sailor scout is, we might pull it off.”  Raye mused.  Serena nodded absentmindedly and stepped up to the buzzer.  She pushed the button.  No sound came out.
    “Umm…their doorbell is broken.  Maybe we should climb over the fence.”  Serena said.
    “No, you idiot!  We’ll get arrested for trespassing or something.  Let’s wait awhile.  It’s probably a buzzer that makes noise inside the house.”  Raye replied.  The two waited until the gates opened.  Serena gasped and Raye pushed her forward into the gates.  “Hurry up; we don’t have all day.”  The two walked past the gates, and when they were in the courtyard, the gates closed, creaking loudly.

    Serena and Raye found themselves in the front foyer of Horse Lady’s large house.  The butler had shown them in.  The two sat down on a small couch and waited for the horsey one.
    Several minutes later, a lady came into the foyer.
    “I am Her Royal Highness’s secretary.  May I help you?”  She asked.  The two gawked at the secretary.  Serena leaned over to Raye and hissed, “Horse Lady isn’t royalty is she?!”  Raye shook her head no.
    “Ummm…yeah.  Um, like, do you know if some guy named Darien Shields works here?” Serena asked in a small voice.
    “I don’t know who you are referring to.” Came the reply.
    “Um, this guy.  He has dark hair, blue eyes, and an American accent.  He was the assistant to the secretary or something.”  Raye said.
    “Hmmm.  I believe I now know whom you are talking about.  I’ll return in a moment.”  The secretary left.  Serena and Raye looked at each other.  The secretary returned a short while later, looking perturbed.
    “The young man you are referring to did in fact work here, but he was released from his job last Thursday.  I do not know where he is; at this point his whereabouts are of no concern to Her Royal Highness’s staff.  Is that all?”  she asked brusquely.  The two stared at her, completely confused and fustrated.  The secretary went on.  “All right then, the butler shall show you the door.  Good day, ladies.”  The secretary left and the butler entered.  Raye and Serena stood up and followed the butler out the door.
    “Okay, so now we know he was in fact fired.  But where did he go?  Where is he staying?”  Serena asked.  Raye sighed angrily.
    “God, you should have asked her while we were in there.  I didn’t come all this way to hear some ugly-looking broad tell me he’s not here.”  Raye ranted.  “Okay, you don’t have to jump down my throat.  Let’s think of a plan, or something.  How are we going to find out where Darien is?” Serena asked.
    “Amy might know.  Let’s ask her.”  Raye replied.  The two left the large estate and walked back to the Doe residence.

    It was dinner by the time Serena and Raye returned to the Doe’s residence.  The girls sat down at the patio table, discussing the day’s activities.  Later, the girls arranged a meeting in the attic.
    “So, did you ask Darien to help?”  Amy asked.
    “He doesn’t work there anymore.  He was fired last Thursday," Raye said.  Amy's eyes widened.
    "So where is he now?!"  Mina asked.  "We don't know!  His boss didn't give us any information--they just told us he had been fired." Raye snapped.
    Suddenly the attic door opened.  Mrs. Doe was standing in the hallway with an envelope in her hand.
    "Sorry to interrupt, but this was found in the mail.  It was addressed to Serena," Mrs. Doe announced.  Serena stood up and took the letter.  "Did you girls want anything, like a snack or drink?"  Mrs. Doe asked.
    "No thanks.  Thank you for the letter,"  Serena said.  Mrs. Doe nodded and left.  Serena turned to the girls and opened the letter.  The contents were shocking:
 

"Serena, aka Sailor Moon,

We have your companion Darian.  If you want him back, confiscate all computer files concerning the Pink Mafia and leave England--forever.  If you do not do what we ask, then we will have no choice but to either terminate Darian or induct him into our society.

Sincerely,
Glinda"
 

Serena:  This is absolutely horrible.  How can Darian be kidnapped by Glinda?
Luna:  Well, kidnapping is serious.  Don't talk to strangers, and don't take anything a stranger offers you.
Serena:  Yes, and if someone is follwing you, go to the nearest police station.
Luna:  Talk to your parents about stalking and kidnapping.
Serena:  Don't forget to pay respect to different people!
Luna:  Discrimination is wrong.
Serena:  Sailor Moon Says!

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